Waiting for Dad

Every morning when Gwen wakes up I bring her into my bed where we cuddle and talk as she drinks her milk and I try to wake up. As soon as I get up she plops down and heads for the living room. I then hear her little hands banging on the window of our back door. I open the door for her to the porch where she plays contently as I make breakfast. Since Joseph has begun working the graveyard shift Gwen has figured out that Daddy comes home from outside, and so sure enough every morning she goes out to the porch hoping to see Daddy when he comes home.

Gwen truly is remarkable. She always amazes me at what she understands and her determination to figure something out. Whenever she acts stubborn or undetered despite our "No"s I look at Joseph and say, "That's all you!" Can you blame me? She is completely her father's child - extremely social, outgoing, driven, intelligent all the while being very well mannered (OK so maybe not all of Joseph's genes...). I will admit Joseph is also much more compassionate and controlled with her than I. He often has to remind me that "She is only a baby." No matter how fussy, whiny, or cranky she gets, he always responds with a smile and sweet reassurance that everything is OK. Such love shown to her always pierces my heart as I rock her in my arms each night and sing, 'Love one Another'. The lyrics start, "As I have loved you, love one another." I quickly think of the time I spent with her that day and wonder, 'Did I love her as Christ would love her?' 'Am I showing her the kind of love that I want her to learn?' Such questions have often brought me to tears as I kiss her goodnight and pray that I will have the strength to be and do better tomorrow. Then when I hear her waking the next morning and embrace her I feel a sigh of relief that she is only one day older and the Lord has given me another chance.

I love her. Oh, how I love her!

-CP